2 decades

Happy Birthday to me

It's officially one month till I return home to America. After some planning and discussion, I moved back (up?) my flight from the 14th to the 22nd. Undoubtedly one of the more expensive decisions of my life, but I can't help but feel completely blessed that my mom and my family have been so supportive of my wanting to take advantage of every opportunity that life has placed before me. I may die tomorrow, or in a few months, or maybe 70 years from now. That uncertainty coupled with my life experiences has taught me that if things are meant to happen, then by the grace of God they will. So I won't deny the chance to travel around Europe if God's opening the door for me. Who would?

I'm slowly but surely assembling the plans for my European adventures. Everything is disconcertingly up in the air right now, and I don't want to call home or post any details till I have everything solidified (I know I haven't called you Mom, and I apologize. But as Manong could attest to my online presence, I'm quite alive and well and I don't want to call and get into a long, possibly heated discussion about my plans till they've solidified. Why pander over something that's up in the air?) But as of right now, Paris is definitely on the books...

It's about 2am here, and I'm listening to a bit of Tchaikovsky, who I've been in the mood for ever since I saw the ballet last week.

I'm quite upset that I'll be spending my first Thanksgiving away from home. To my horror, I'll be spending 2 out of my 3 favorite holidays of the year: Thanksgiving and Black Friday. It's a family tradition! I hope I'll have more to eat than just a turkey sandwich on Thursday...

Friday is my birthday. My first birthday where I'm not greeted by a "Happy birthday" and a kiss from my mom and, depending if my birthday lands on Thanksgiving or not, either a shove and a reprimand that it's 11:30am to get up and clean the house (which would already be set up by the time I walk downstairs, natch), breakfast if it's the weekend, or a goodbye because she's about to leave for work. No once-a-month hug and kiss from my brother and genuinely wondering how old I was turning (I think he guessed 17 two years in a row). No measuring how long it took for the rest of my family to realize that it indeed was my birthday.

I'll be two decades old. I hope I've done enough with my life to consider it a milestone achievement. Twenty seems so... decadent, so immersed in youthful exuberance and fantasy that it's almost uncomfortable for me. As many, including my own family, could attest to, I don't exactly live a life of decadence and exuberance. I like intimate conversations, coffee, classical music, cuddling on the couch watching a movie, wine, small house parties with friends playing beer pong or playing video games.

Simplicity and subtlety. I don't do well with complexity and extravagance.

Bleh, I should get to bed soon. The hall is quiet, which means a better chance of falling asleep peacefully. My sleep patterns have been getting better. I have a crap-ton of essays to do in the next three weeks, so hopefully that'll help.

PS If you're interested in my academic writings, here are some samples of what I'm working on so far.

http://blogs.warwick.ac.uk/elopez

http://whispertoaroar.pbworks.com

PPS I was homesick so I cooked chicken adobo and tacos last week. I've met people here who've never had a burrito or a taco before. We Californians really take Mexican food for granted.

Compliments and Validation

I received one of the greatest compliments yesterday, and here's how it went.

My friend Charlie and I were discussing the differences between American and British universities. I told him how it was still so surreal for me being here. Uni of Warwick is #4 in England. He, along with almost everyone here, applied and interviewed at Oxford and Cambridge... those are the kind of students I've been surrounded by for the past 8 weeks! Comparatively, I basically spent a semester in Princeton, for crying out loud - the people who didn't get into Harvard and Yale.

I said to him, "It's still weird to think about being here, because there was no way in hell I'd be able to get into this school if I applied!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, my school is what, number #44 in America? I mean, it's a good school, a UC. But in terms of rankings, there's no comparison. Warwick would've definitely way out of the question for me to apply."

"But... you're quite clever ('smart' in British English). Why aren't you at a high-ranking university? I don't see why not."

That was one of the greatest compliments I've ever received. I don't care that I'm not at Harvard or Yale. Like I said before, I know I'm smart and I don't really see the need to prove it to anyone. It'll show through my discussions in class, my work, and my conversations with people. But the fact that I'm capable, and someone who got offers from Oxford, London School of Economics and Leeds recognizes that too, is more than enough to validate my intelligence.

The answer to his question is a bit complex, but I'm still quite happy about where I am right now. I'm no smarter at UCI than I am at Warwick - the environment is just more recipient of intelligence and allows it to thrive.

My mom is the best

I love my mom.

Londontown

Another weekend, another weekend in London!



Covent Garden shopping center and markets!



The National Gallery. Makes me wish I took Art History classes.



Program



Paid 10 quid to see a Matinee performance of "The Sleeping Beauty" by Tchaikovsky. Wonderful production!



Reunion with my former computerstore buddies! <3

A Glimpse of Heaven

I now have less than 5 weeks left here in Warwick, and people keep asking me what I’ll miss the most. Among other things, such as wearing coats and scarves and boots everyday (my favorite pieces of clothing), I know exactly what I’ll miss the most: taking classes with passionate people.

Here’s why:

In America, the university institution focuses on the idea of the “well-rounded individual”. Meaning, if you’re a history major in the Humanities department, you also have to take 3 classes in the areas of math, science, and social sciences. Why? It’s so you get exposed to a wide range of topics and fields. Whether because society thinks it’s necessary, or whether it’s because many students would shoot themselves if they only took classes in their major every quarter, is speculation. Personally, I enjoy taking classes outside of my major. It keeps me from burning out. It also exposes me to a whole different range of subjects that I probably would never have a chance to study otherwise.

But a lot of other people would probably prefer doing it the UK style, where you only take classes within your major. That means if you’re a history major, you only take history classes and are surrounded by the same other history majors for 3 years. A lot of people think that other classes are “useless” and “superfluous” and are a waste of time and energy that they could be putting into subjects that actually pertain to their major. So in the US, I’m constantly surrounded by people who don’t really care about the class nor the subject matter. And it’s really frustrating sometimes.

Here at Warwick, I got a glimpse of heaven: taking classes with other students who are really passionate about history and politics. Almost everyone participates in every seminar. If they don’t, at least they have the knowledge and the intellect to contribute if they wanted to. I talk to my classmates outside of class about politics and current events. We all love the same things, we read the news every day, we debate about American and UK politics. It’s awesome. UK students work hard to get into the course they apply to, so I know that in every seminar the students have to be passionate in order to be there. I don't have to worry about looking like a nerd or dork because I know a lot. In fact, you're lauded for being able to engage and hold your own. Here, no one looks down on you for being smart because everyone else is, too.

I don’t get that kind of intellectual stimulation at UCI. What I get is a room of 25 students, 20 of whom are either just taking the class for requirements and don’t care and don’t participate and read the material, and 5 of whom actually like the subject and are forced to engage and work with others who obviously could care less about being there. It’s absolutely frustrating. The 5 of us come off as nerds and get looked down for it, even though in no society should intelligence ever be shunned.
Maybe this is what I get for not working hard enough. Sure, I’m smart. I know I’m smart, my friends and family know, my teachers know. I just never really attached numbers and letters to intellectual capacity. My philosophy to learning is this: I’d rather enjoy a subject and get a B than stress myself out over studying and lose interest and get an A. Why? I don’t see the point in working myself to the bone over grades. I enjoy learning, whatever it is. There hasn’t been one class I’ve regret taking throughout the course of my college career. And this was especially true in high school. Maybe if I worked harder, I could’ve gotten into an Ivy League or something. Warwick is an Ivy League of the UK, and I’ve definitely held my own amongst my colleagues and classmates, so it’s not like I’m intellectually incapable. Maybe it’s because I don’t see the point in potentially ruining something I enjoy doing: learning. If I worked harder and stressed myself out more, maybe I’d be at UCLA or Stanford by now. But what would I have had to give up in return? Fewer friends? No boyfriend? Miserable social skills? I have no idea.

But I can’t say that I’m unhappy where I am right now. UCI is an excellent university that has all the opportunities in the world to make me a big fish in a big pond. Most importantly, I get a realistic sense of the world: not everyone you meet is going to be intelligent. Not everyone will have the same interests as you, or the type of people you’d associate with outside of class. I’m learning to be (as horrible as this sounds) tolerant of idiots and slackers because frankly, they don’t disappear after college. They’ll be there in the working world, too. And hopefully I’ll be a little more prepared for that than my friends across the pond.

My experience here has given me a small glimpse of heaven: grad school.

Favorite

There have been few days in my college career that I can describe as "Perfect"

One of them was my last full day in Irvine.

The most perfect day in memory was my visit to Bath last year. This city inspired me to come back to England.

St. Paul's

Seaside

People might think that it's strange, but I really enjoy traveling by myself. Mainly because I have the type of personality that's always worried about other people and putting their needs before myself, so traveling with other people gets a bit stressful for me. I'd always make sure that they were okay, that they were enjoying themselves, worried that I was just dragging them around to places that I want to see. If I travel with someone who knows what they want and where they want to go, then that's okay. But I always stress out when they're too... complacent. I dunno...

And plus, I have very good traveling skills. I am perfectly fine sitting on a bus for two hours then jumping on a train for another two hours at 6:50am, then doing it all over again at 7pm. My body loves automotive transportation, so I can just sleep. Other people aren't blessed with those skills, so I'd hate to force people into uncomfortable traveling situations.

Portsmouth
I'd been missing the sea, so I took a trip to Portsmouth on the South End of England. It's home to the HMS Victory and other cool ships. And it's also home to shopping outlets. :] It's a port town (if you couldn't guess from the name), so it was lovely seeing the ocean again. The weather was crap, but it was crap in a good way. It reminded me of San Francisco and Daly City.



Took a bus at 7am from Coventry to London, then took a train from London Victoria to Portsmouth, about a 4 hour trip altogether. Here's a bit of the English countryside for you.



Here's one of the two old ships that is docked here. I don't know what it's called, but I'm ashamed that I didn't find out. :(



Here's the HMS Victory, docked right next to the Royal Naval Museum. Don't let the light fool you, it was drizzling at this point. Oh, and the sun sets at 5pm here. Really freaky.



Ended my day with some coffee at the Georgian, a cafe attached to the self-proclaimed "Biggest Antiques Shop on the Southside". Did I spend a large amount of time there? As Sarah Palin would say, "You betcha!"

Growing Old

After this quarter, I'll have 17 classes till graduation.

4 Political Science
9 History
4 General Education requirements

Yikes!!

Life

Sleep? What's that?

I'm not sure how scientifically accurate this statement is, but I think my summer has indefinitely ruined my sleeping schedule, at least till I get back to Irvine.

This was the first summer in 5 or so years where I didn't have a summer job. Yes, I took summer school, but it was for an hour each morning so that never got me tired enough. I can't go asleep unless I'm absolutely exhausted. So at UCI, having school and work from 9am to 7pm got me adequately tired enough where I would fall asleep pretty quickly after doing some homework and studying. But because I came from a restless, easy summer to England, my sleep patterns haven't been getting any better. There's probably a few reasons for this.

1) I'm not tired when I come home from school. I spend 8 hours out of the week in the classroom, as opposed to 16. And I don't even have a job, which usually takes up 15 hours of my week. So I sometimes quite literally sit on my ass doing (almost) nothing. I mean, it's productive work. But it's not the same kind of work.

2) I don't have homework to worry about. The only things I have to turn in are:

Week 7:
2,000 word essay for Medicine, Identity and Technology
Week 9:
4500 word essay for Stuart England
2000 word essay for MIT
Week 10:
2500 word essay for Politics of the USA
2500 word essay for Political Theory from Hobbes

I'm going to spend next week getting started on these essays, and I'm halfway done with my first essay. But without constant midterms and exams and other things to worry about, I find myself being too idle for my own good. The reading for two of my classes overlap, and I don't need to read for USA, because I've already studied everything. Blahhh. Medicine is the only thing I need to worry about.

3) My flatmates don't go to bed till 3, 4am. And they're not exactly the quietest people haha. But they're sweet. It's just hard to fall asleep when there's a ruckus outside, and I don't want to feel like an old maid and yell at them.

4) All my friends are online late at night! The 8 hour time difference is killer, because if I'm considering getting to bed around 1am, it's about 4 in the afternoon and people are always online talking. And then we spend hours catching up and by the time I realize I should be in bed, I've reached the point where I'm awake again.

5) I'm already a natural night-owl, so everything just aggregates into ridiculousness.

I need more sleep!!